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My Father Was Right I Was Wrong

Rant of the Day:

Good morning. For some reason, probably due to my own misunderstanding I thought I was going to finish the Linux certification this semester. I just realized that I will be missing three of the courses to finish CIS-284, CIS-288, CIS-289.

The problem I'm having is that I am informed the Trades Act/ TAA I would be done by the semester. I will have no more funding for any course after this semester is over. I was originally a CST student. When the trades act realize I will not finish this semester CST due to my failures in mathematics they advised me just to finish the Linux certification because they will yank my funding. We All thought I would be done. Including my advisors.

Well people, it seems, for now, I won't be able to finish the associate degree, and I won't be able to finish the certification. Two years and a half a full-time being a full-time student and I ended up just like my father said I would end up being a piece of____.

When I came to this country and I was really sick and I had to go through serious medical treatment then I went to vocational rehab one of the rehab counselors said that I could work as a janitor. I rejected his counsel, no way I was going to support my kids on a janitor salary. I did everything I could to the best that I can and I failed at every single goal I placed because I believed I was normal. I just couldn't accept that I have epilepsy and I am a freaking retard. Well, I am now 56 I am penniless and I still have epilepsy and this last two years had demonstrated to me that I am a freaking retard.

My father was right. The vocational rehab counselor was right. And I was wrong.

This is what I am, and after 36 years of struggling this is what I always have been. A useless freaking retard.

Antonio L Santana

Comments

  1. UnknownNovember 21, 2017 at 10:51 PM

    I have had a very hard time trying to support my family also.
    I have found that the harder I tried the goals could not be achieved.
    I feel robbed of a normal life and will probably end in more problems for my family.
    It is hard to stay positive in negative times.
    Family and friends just seem to distance themselves from me.
    It's lonely . Sorry I wanted to encourage you but it is what it is. Makes me want to curse but I refuse. I feel twisted and robbed.
    I did the University thing just to fail. I do understand how hard it is to go full time student and try to support also.
    We are in a boat alone with no course.
    I'm 52 and tired of trying ,but the love for my family won't let me stop trying.
    When I say family it's just 3 people the rest don't come around.

    ReplyDelete

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