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Moving Forward to Nowhere

 Good day,



  • My temporary disability  from the state  at least has been approved for the next 5 month. Therefore my conscience concerning maintaining my household as a Christian is covered.   I moved from The Spanish congregation  to my daughter’s congregation at the request of my wife so providing spiritually for my wife has been covered.


  •  By moving from the congregation however I have established myself as a coward... no problem nobody cares, I made myself a ghost in Mt Ephraim Spanish,  giving credence that I am now a Christian in poor standing. So my wife is good. My heart cannot be repaired as expected so my lifespan has been shortened; it  takes about twice as much to regain what I lost and that goes beyond my lifespan.  What can I really do from 2 to 12 years? I do have a childhood friend in worse condition, similar surgery because of a heart defect. 5 month in the hospital. So I am well aware some are worse off than me. This is not a self pity rant, I am just looking at my options.


 Many friends are going to say...  “well you can preach or be a pioneer.”  I have been doing that since I'm 10 years old and I'm 61 so that means half a century of preaching and pioneering from time to time. 


Right now I'm in my daughter's house just watching Facebook clips of old TV shows. Is that the way I'm going to spend most of my time now?  I got my guitar so I can practice but who would be in the audience once I am up to speed?  I read books and I review them but nobody reads my reviews  and I don't like to waste time so what will I do?


Wait to die I guess.  Not enough money to play golf or go fishing, or travel. Maybe I will open up a worm farm. 

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