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Not so much of an image of a Puerto Rican and a JW who would never die and live forever.

 I know many of you are going to call this a pity party ( if you do look up the definition) but right now I am no longer a part of the mount Ephraim congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses in Camden New Jersey so I really don't give a frack; now I can write about my health. A few years ago I started to develop what is called exercise intolerance and gait imbalance, and neurological depression. 

Exercise intolerance is caused by cardiovascular disease. I did this to myself and the only person I can blame is myself. It ended up with me having a heart attack on June 8th, 2022, and was followed up with open heart surgery on September 6th, 2022 the procedure is called a CABG surgery. The initial plan was to have a quadruple bypass but under further examination, this could not be done for various reasons and I ended up with a double bypass and a stent, and other procedures to fix the heart. In all The revascularization of the heart was not done. (I can't win them all). 

I can't complain much while still alive and I guess I should give thanks to God for that. At the same time, I recognize that I am a self-made failure with myself to blame. Therefore I have a new image. In Latin, Defectum Maximus. What am I going to do in the future now on this side of the Great Tribulation? Most likely nothing I can't travel And I cannot work like I used to, which means I will fall into the rank-and-file of people that are going to abuse disability and drink Mad Dog 20/20. 


Say what why not go out and become a Pioneer in go-to field service in these last days? I have been going out to field service since I was around 10 years old. And I have pioneered many many many many times even when I have been sick in Puerto Rico where I could not work or do anything else. In my current situation right now, going to field service and going to a Kingdom Hall for a meeting it's more of a routine. So we shall see...  I do not have the faith I use to, I feel no, Joy, or happiness nor do I believe I am in a Spiritual Paradise.

Right now I can say that I am not Puerto Rican and JW that we'll never get sick and die. I almost did... Amor Fati

Time to lay down again. just took a handful of medications and will have hallucinations. Maybe I can write short stories about the hallucinations I get while under the effect...

Have a great day, I am sure I will not.


Defectum Maximus


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