Good day to everybody,
As many of you probably know by now, by the time you read this ( if anyone is reading at all) I will be on my way to open heart surgery the procedure is called CABG. In the past, I have poked fun at myself. You may have read many times that I claim: " I am a Puerto Rican and a JW, therefore I will never get sick and I will never die because that is the image... Maybe". Many of you already understand what this means. I grew up as one of the Jehovah's Witnesses in 1967 or 1968. I was the second one in my family to get baptized as a JW minister at the age of 13 in 1975. But before 1975 the majority of Jehovah's Witnesses believed that something may occur in or around 1975. Many Jehovah Witnesses today will deny this then again many Jehovah's Witnesses today we're not from that generation. few of us remain or as the generation of 1914 is dying off. Uh, the 1914 generation has died, the '75 generation is dying off, and most are in their 90's
As I was growing up our literature reflected the thought process of Jehovah's Witnesses of the time. Today that has totally changed, for example, I was taught most likely I will never finish school and will be in the New World by that time, therefore living in a new world "we will not get sick or die". As mentioned the Jehovah's Witnesses of today do not think like that, they have a different understanding, I will not get into details just go to their website at JW.org and you can read it for yourself. You may even find information about 1975 even though some of the literature has been removed or altered. In my case, I have everything in print because back in the day we used to collect the watchtowers and put them into encyclopedic volumes of the year (no desktop computers). I have had them all from that time. This should explain my expression "I will never get sick and die" I am mocking myself because of that belief I had for so long Until 4 years ago. Now I will have Surgery I might very well die because I am very sick.
Now for the expression, "I am Puerto Rican."
Even though I was born in New York, my ethnicity is Spanish creole. My father was born in Puerto Rico my mother is of Puerto Rican descent; also born in New York. At the age of 9, I was sent to live in Bayamon Puerto Rico this would be 1971. Since I grew up in a Puerto Rican culture which is an offshoot of the Spanish culture, Puerto Rico was the last Spanish colony. My grandparents were Spaniards on my father's side; descendants of slaves, they kept the Spanish Catholic culture close to heart. My father left the JW organization and reverted back to his culture. My mother stayed within. Also, on my father's side, all are extremely educated everyone had a degree and eventually I was sent to University even though my congregation frowned on it. After all the new world was going to be around in 1975 or a few years afterward going to college was a waste of time we should be preaching, which I did every single summer since I was 12 years old. And then I pioneered after I got baptized. Regardless my education in the technology field allowed me to work with the Puerto Rican branch and the American one for over 30 years in the sound dept pre-RBC, I returned to the United States to Camden New Jersey because of a neurological disorder (JW's still frowned on higher education, the reason is a bit different today)
The Spanish culture has different offshoots and a code of conduct more prevalent among the humble who learn their culture from their parents and the environment. Part of that conduct is Machismo, I refer to the time I was raised on the island over 50 years ago. (Of course today Puerto Rico is Americanized and the way of thinking is changing rapidly.) In the Christian congregation of Jehovah's witnesses here in the United States in my local area, most members come from my generation, and recently from Latin America during grand immigration crossing the southern border. Why do I mention this?
It's very simple and in my long association with the organization, I have met very interesting people, missionaries, special Pioneers, and circuit overseers. One thing they have taught me. The organization does not change the culture of a people only the false beliefs related to it. So while as of today all the teaching and doctrine are Jehovah's Witnesses are the same globally the culture is not. I travel quite a bit and I have seen this for myself in fact when I related to my friends in the local congregation things that I saw in my travels I have been yelled at. That should have been a red flag for me some time ago and I ignored it. You see, the appointed position of Elder is a responsibility, a privilege, and authority, The Spanish Culture is more adherent to obedience, this comes from the catholic culture, you can't change 500 years of Spanish culture overnight, their decision is final.
Complaining about my health or talking about science and hard science fiction on social media, may be offensive to other Spanish or Latin American friends. talking about one poor health may be offensive and violates certain aspects of "Machismo". Men don't whine about their health. Many also consider science fiction as demonic, so any Jw posting about these things may present a negative image of a JW.
And this is why I say I am a Puerto Rican. I am a JW. And I will never get sick nor will I die. I no longer serve in any appointed position in the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses; most likely in the future, if I don't die on the surgery table I would never serve again. If you are a male my age and not appointed or removed in disgrace, you are nobody in the congregation. Jehovah's Witnesses today have an image to maintain, look at the literature, look at their conventions that are online. look at the videos and observe the facial expressions it is a very powerful tool to appeal to emotions. They would like to present a spiritual Paradise, and I have no problem with this. But personally, I never felt myself to be in one, and for the last four years even less. For most of my time of 50+ years, it has been working, serving others even with my illness, in poverty, and the loss of a child to the world. That was my training. there is more I could write about my upbringing in Puerto Rico... maybe another time
I will not abandon my God and his son and my religion; I am sure there are a lot of congregations that would have treated me better. Whether I make it or not tomorrow, I want everybody to keep in mind that I am a JW, I am a Puerto Rican and I will never get sick or die... { I have now WMH, IBD, NALD, and a failing occluded heart.)
But whatever happens tomorrow, I will never be the same and I have nothing, absolutely nothing to look forward to.
That is the image... Maybe.
My surgery is at 8:30 am
Tony
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